You're my little dorito
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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