I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
