Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
