That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize