kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
