A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We are two peas in an std pod
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
