and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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