She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
