so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
