my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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