Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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