i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
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he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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