soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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