Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
