Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
