Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
