it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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