i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
it's like iHOP with fire
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
