he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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