Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
