I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
