I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She said her name was "party"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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