I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it hurts more in the daytime
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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