was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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