did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
