I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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