I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You were trust falling into bushes
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