I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Randomize