The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
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Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
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I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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