So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
