Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
