Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
