i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
