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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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