My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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