Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(424): View more from California

Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?

Fav 2 1273 2013
share tweet
(337): View more from Louisiana

Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.

Fav 17 3994 1148
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.

Fav 7 1036 3638
share tweet
(773): View more from Illinois

Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.

Fav 5 4604 1063
share tweet
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(978): View more from Massachusetts

I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.

Fav 8 3027 1136
share tweet
(479): View more from Arkansas

Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?

Fav 4 1944 1094
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(413): View more from Massachusetts

2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.

Fav 4 906 1570
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night

Fav 1 551 409
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(937): View more from Ohio

That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.

Fav 1 102 254
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT