I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
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The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
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So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"