Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.

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(212): This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING. http://tfl.nu/5495

Replies (2) Good night (1058) Bad night (1106)
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(406): View more from Montana

The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.

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(406): The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots. http://tfl.nu/c5g4

Replies (10) Good night (2155) Bad night (792)
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(716): View more from New York

so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome

(914): View more from New York

i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"

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(716): so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome (914): i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends" http://tfl.nu/p6rp

Replies (26) Good night (2299) Bad night (614)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.

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(978): I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there. http://tfl.nu/oxsp

Replies (9) Good night (3235) Bad night (1073)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.

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(515): Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake. http://tfl.nu/j6cx

Replies (3) Good night (2614) Bad night (1107)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.

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(319): Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again. http://tfl.nu/9aen

Replies (10) Good night (3626) Bad night (1320)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?

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(606): Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters? http://tfl.nu/uly0

Replies (3) Good night (2301) Bad night (754)
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(515): View more from Iowa

He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.

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(515): He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend. http://tfl.nu/m6dn

Replies (10) Good night (2934) Bad night (748)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.

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(330): Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys. http://tfl.nu/v1x6

Replies (6) Good night (1727) Bad night (768)
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(256): View more from Alabama

He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.

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(256): He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree. http://tfl.nu/17st

Replies (4) Good night (915) Bad night (279)
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(386): View more from Florida

Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today

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(386): Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today http://tfl.nu/fdks

Replies (1) Good night (819) Bad night (288)
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(305): View more from Florida

Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.

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(305): Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized. http://tfl.nu/vgu8

Replies (7) Good night (565) Bad night (247)
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(775): View more from Nevada

I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related

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(775): I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related http://tfl.nu/atsx

Replies (2) Good night (661) Bad night (387)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form

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(630): I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form http://tfl.nu/1nja

Replies (4) Good night (494) Bad night (265)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight

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(630): Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight http://tfl.nu/q3l9

Replies (6) Good night (894) Bad night (271)

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