Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
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I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
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U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.