I need help removing her.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm not coming to work today because tequila