okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
