can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
