I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
