You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-