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• (361): View more from Texas

  What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?

  (1-361): View more from Texas

  These are the tickets we got last night.

  (361): View more from Texas

  Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?

  (1-361): View more from Texas

  Yes...yes you did.

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• (619): View more from California

  If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (214): View more from Texas

  i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (207): View more from Maine

  you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Come back. Shots need mouths.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on

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