Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
