I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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