Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Life is so much better after having sex.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
