The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
