Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize