Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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