The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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