Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
