So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
