youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
