idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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