I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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