so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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