he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Someone came in the potted fern
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
