My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
