he wants to bone in the snuggie
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
