I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
